Don’t be Afraid of the Soft Sand

I recently finished a book about a soldier’s military experience. One vignette told of the challenges of an elite school. One tough test was making long runs through difficult terrain. In the sand, you could not get purchase, which made the experience all that more difficult. It was something to face and fail or overcome.

I had similar experiences in Ranger School in the Army. They constantly played with your psyche, making even small tasks seem almost insurmountable. Truly, the ability to absorb mental assault was perhaps the most important. Much of it seemed like solo combat. You against the challenging environment. You could be physically dominant, but fold under metal stress.

What does it take to overcome these trials? Mental Toughness. Stamina. Perseverance. Self-discipline. Grit. And more.

All were at once time termed, “manly virtues.” In a past where gender roles were more differentiated perhaps. Such may be valid in the case of raw physical strength but not in many other characteristics. Although we perhaps lament the fact that men have lost their fibre (which I believe), there is nothing specifically “male” in any of those. I have experienced male incompetence and seen stellar women (as well as the reverse). It is about character, not gender.

Overcoming the “fear” of the soft sand (or a challenge of any nature) is about believing in yourself more than simply being physically able to accomplish the task. In fact, in our modern world, where we are generally not confronting physical trials (military and first responders are the notable exception), the tests come in the realm of the mental.

One of the biggest problems with dealing with our “soft sand” is that we have a tendency to make it “deeper.” I have a particular penchant, as my mom would admonish, for “making mountains out of mole hills.” (small” problems bigger). My inclination to “over analyze” things is remarkable.

As kids, we are often afraid of “things that go bump in the night.” When our fears are imagined and amplified, our “reptilian brain” takes over. We manage to dissect the issue not only to their basic components but transform them into “threats” to which primitive responses apply. In doing so, we make the benign malevolent.

In this nighttime “fight or flight” world, the scale and complexity of the issues are magnified. The possible scenarios seem to grow to unmanageable proportions. And none seem to be the pathway out.

As the morning breaks (with us mentally exhausted), daylight not only brings colors back to our world, but it also illuminates our mental challenges for what they are. The problem is revealed in its true (frequently minor) stature. It was not the horrible monstrosity it seemed in the dark.

I had attempted to plow through these self-created “sand pit,” assured that I wouldn’t make it out, only to find that I was on terra firma the whole time. Was it even a problem worth worrying about? Often “not.”

Sometimes reducing the issue does not make it more complex, it simplifies things. Instead of fixating on the distant end, we can concentrate on taking just the next few steps. Setting small, achievable goals keeps your motivation alive and breaks the journey into manageable parts.

Accepting this can also lighten the load. Carrying unnecessary burdens (self-doubt, fear of failure, perfectionism) makes trudging through soft sand even harder. Learning to release what doesn’t serve you allows you to move with more freedom and less exhaustion. “Pain is just weakness leaving your body.”

There was another military adage (perhaps impolite). “Embrace the suck!” By accepting the soft sand rather than fighting it, allows you to put it in perspective. This is just another thing life throws at us (and we should expect nothing less). Make the challenge part of who you are, and you can accomplish more than you ever thought possible.

But there is another component to triumph against the odds. “Tribe.”

If the military taught me anything, it was that teamwork is frequently the key to success. The more you struggled to do it alone, the more pressure was applied. Ultimately, as an individual you would fail.

Turning to the group (and reciprocating when it was your turn) was how you conquered the challenge. Sometimes the path to triumph is the willingness to lean on others (and to be leant against). Often someone would drop back on a run to encourage a flagging comrade, even if they risked their own standing to do so. Ultimately, they were respected for their sacrifice. It was also essential to group success.

“Soft sand” represents challenge. It slows progress, drains energy, and makes the destination seem farther away. Yet, it also strengthens the muscles of perseverance. Every step in soft sand builds endurance in a way a paved road never could. When the ground beneath us feels unstable, it is tempting to stop, to retreat to firmer footing.

In moments of exhaustion and doubt, when the “sand” of life feels too soft to support us, we must remember: the ones who succeed are not always the fastest or the most gifted. They are the ones who refuse to stop running, who keep lifting their feet when the ground tries to pull them under (even if it takes the help of our “tribe” to do so).

“Don’t be afraid of your soft sand.”