I’m an Analog Guy in a Digital World

I am an analog guy in a digital world. The simpler things become, the more complex it seems to be.

I am surrounded by technology more sophisticated than me: a phone the size of a small TV, a tablet that is a TV and a TV the size of a house. The smaller things become the larger they get.

We have gone wireless, yet the house if full of wires.

At my bedside table is a “charging station.” Rather than being the compact organizer they advertised, it resembles Medusa’s head with wiry hair spreading in all directions.

From it dangles a jumble of USB cords (alphabetically aligned). All have a USB A plug on one end. My old headphones use the (now ancient) Mini B connector. The Kindle uses a smaller Micro B plug. My Nook uses something that looks like a Micro B plug but isn’t (maybe that’s why they are a dying breed). The tablet uses some other kind of round plug (not compatible with my wife’s tablet that has a flat thingy on the end). 

My Pixel XL phone uses a new USB C plug. I have tricked the cords however by getting an adapter that makes a B-type into a C-type, but with such a contraption the advantages of the faster charging speed are negated. Rats, foiled again.

Not stopping here, I also have a weird clip-like thing that charges my Fitbit. It won’t work with anything else and is an annoyingly short wire that tangles up everything else.

Of course, our devices often run out of juice elsewhere, so smaller versions of this are located throughout the house.

On Barb’s side of the bed sits a replica (with slight variation of plug types).

A cluster adorns each end of the kitchen counter, one for her and one for me.

In the middle sits Alexa (actually it is an Amazon “Dot” not the full-sized version, so its connected to a Boss speaker clarity). I now have a choice: either, squeeze my phone and say, “Hey Google! What’s going on today?” or shout, “Alexa, what’s happening today?” Both respond with a synthesized female voice proclaiming the traffic, news and weather. No thumbs required. How cool is that.

My office is more sophisticated (perhaps, “more complicated” is appropriate). Not to be outdone by the bedroom, my laptop sprouts a four-way splitter (two USB connections were simply not enough): one to the printer (which uses a standard USB B plug-now they are all covered), one to the scanner, one for the “wireless” keyboard and mouse, and another for the analog turntable on which I can still play my vinyl records (now we ae back to my speed-33 RPM not 45 for you old farts). Of course, there are a few extra charging cords (of various types) …just in case.

It also sports a hard-wired connection to the wireless router (an oxymoron?).

Oh, we mustn’t forget the HDMI cable that connects to the separate monitor (We all know that one screen is never enough). Of course, this does not include the power cords attached to each and everyone of the aforementioned devices. A spaghetti labyrinth indeed!

Just for fun, I can holler over the railing to quiz Alexa from up here, but that’s beside the point.

I haven’t even gotten to the TV’s, the Roku (who thinks of these names), the Chromecast (at least that makes sense), or their various and sundry remotes for each. Since, I’m running out of words and you are running out of patience, will leave that for another time.

All of this ensures a “seamless experience” of sight and sound, giving me the ability to multi-task and work or play from home.

Wait! “Alexa, where is my phone?” She replies in her sultry voice, “I recommend retracing your steps.” Gee Alexa! I never would have thought of that on my own.